Having returned from my kidnapping experience, I thought it would be a good time to try a comeback. However, with my only fans Bob and Gruber in prison (for kidnapping...), I'm wondering whether there's much point.Whether he's the leader of your religion or not, the Pope has a cool hat and therefore his death is a sad time for all.
To celebrate his memory you will need:
1 x Dead yukka plant1 x Spade/trowel1 x Balaclava/hat & a set of dark clothing (each)1 x Carton of miracle growLots of water and a whole bunch of prayer.
First, adorn yourselves in the anonymous uniforms of the night, making sure that any signs of identity (i.e: 47 badges) are well hidden.
Then, wait until it's dark (apparently balaclava wearing in the middle of the day attracts unwanted attention, especially, for some strange reason, if you have an appointment with your bank manager...) and take all your equipment to an open area of grass, which will be in obvious view of a lot of people during the day. It must be a public area (not someone's garden, you hooligans!) but not one which has flower displays etc.
Now, dig a small hole in the ground with your choice of digging equipment, plant the dead yukka plant in it, and then tidy the surrounding area so as not to arouse suspicion.
If you wish, you may also put a small plaque by the tree, inscribed with the words:"The Pope Tree (In memory of the Pope) -planted by order of Plants In Distress"
Now run away and dispose of all the evidence.
Over the next few days/weeks you will need to keep your Pope Tree watered and fed. And, after a certain amount of time one of three things will happen:
1. The plant will remain dead.2. The plant will miraculously revive itself and blossom into life, bringing forth the joyous word of God, and the promise of a really good year for TV.3. The plant will be removed by the council and taken to the Yukka Tree Sanctuary (the tip).
Pray for the second option and hope for the best.
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