Friday, January 05, 2007

Run that by me again???

Anyone out there have an inside track on who manufactures those intercoms all the fast-food places use?
Are they made in a country that speaks a language that even closely resembles English?
For that matter, are they even manufactured on this planet?

What other type of communications device could possibly provide you with moments like this:

You pull in to the local McBurger/McChicken/McTaco/McFingero´fudge/McFish/McPortugalia/McRoadkill Drivethrough.
They give you about 5 Mc-seconds to try to make sense of the Mc-menu - which appears to have been laid out by someone with a serious Mc-drug problem.
Then the intercom bursts forth with something like:
"Fweeglep snaglitz forthub fizzzdoink gleeetnog floydoink nip-nop?"
Not trying to figure out exactly which unknown dialect this is, you reply with your order: "Yeah….. I'll have a double-cheeseburger, an order of fries, and a medium coke….." The speaker responds:
"fjfhjffzziiiiitttt gnagletwizft vweep snogglitz?"
At this stage, you don't know whether to ask them to repeat, or just say "yeah…" and see what you end up with. You decide to take the "safe" route. And ask them to repeat.
"Bzt ffhghhfjsiittt blongwog ftuupppfttt bizzzttt florgnop?"
This time at a decibel rating that would awaken Attila the Hun. Somehow, the concept of the louder it is, the easier it is to understand does not quite work. You repeat your order, speaking slowly, and clearly enough for your cat to understand:
"I said… I …want…. a… double… cheeseburger….. an ….order …..of ….fries….. and ….a …..medium… coke…"
After a moment of silence (presumably for the order taker to get over the shock of hearing clear, understandable human speech), the speaker responds with
"OK, thaatttt wassss aa gurbergublitz forthnotwilp unappput florkweet nobbbitiy-bloop."
By the time you get to the window, you're ready to take whatever comes through it. You wanted a cheeseburger and fries - you end up with six buckets of enough chicken nuggets to feed the entire town of Cascais, six fillets of fish and a small orange juice.

and they call this convenience??