To find out you have superpowers.
You know what would suck?
To find out you have superpowers postmortem.
This is honestly a serious concern of mine. I think about it alot and wonder what if I’ve just never put enough effort into flying? All this time, I’ve been a flying coach potato when I should have been whipping around the globe superman style.
And what about reading minds? Maybe if I just gave up coffee and aspirin, cigarrettes (Yes I've started smoking again!!!) and cola, I'd be able to figure out the ending to every single episode of "Lost"
"What?"
"Ana Lucia is one of the others?"
"Jesus, that's Michelle Rodriguez she can't be one of them?????."
So far though the biggest problem has been testing my superpowers when my parents are around, cos they don´t believe in abilities...
“What are you thinking about?”
“Ah nothing. Just trying to move the table with my eyeballs... What are you thinking about?”
"How stupid your ideas are, son!!"
Day One: Table refuses to budge.
Day Two: Unable to levitate rubbish on out of my bedroom. Moving on to something smaller.
Day Three: Float you fucken cat!!! On your back and float goddamn you stupid bithch!!! Stop clawing at my arms and Pleaaase fucking float. I'll give you five Euros, damn you.
Day Four: Levitation attempts unsuccessful. Moving on to flight.
In preparation for testing my ability to fly, I’ve already purchased 4 sq-miles of sumo mats and a life insurance policy with suicide coverage. I will say though that if I had my choice of super powers, I’d have to go with laser eyes:
This bird is so boring.......ZAP!!
50 minutes for pizza delivery! Are you mad??? ...ZAP!!!
God that family of four is so annoying....ZAP, ZAP, ZAP, ZAP!!!!!
Laser eyes are definitely where it’s at- don't let Superman tell you otherwise!!!
