I have a young female friend who comes to me all the time for advice, and Igladly play the village wise man and give it to her, mostly because I like watching her d-cups jiggle about freely, nipples rubbing under her T shirt and wearing no bra. mmmmmmmm!!!!
Lately she's been coming to me asking why men keep screwing her over. Oh and she believes in ASTROLOGY, by the way. This bird actually judges people by their astrological signs??? Go figure?
"I'm looking for a Leo, I've always wanted to fuck a Leo, Scorpios are all assholes, and Geminis are all freaky and moody."
"Damn I wish I was a Leo" I thought, but knowing that she knew I was I pisces.
The very idea that everyone born during a certain four-week span of the year all possess the same personality traits is SO incrediby ridiculous that it astounds me that this otherwise intelligent woman puts so much credence in it.
It's like saying, "All men who wear size 9 shoes are good fathers", or "All women from Amsterdam are sluts".
I had a good long talk with her yesterday, and I explained her problem; "Your truths are not truths".
I went into exquisite detail about her problem, and how she's been deceived by her parents, society, and superstition. She sat there, agreeing with it all, and asked me to help her. "Ok, I thought, think Leo!!!"
Then this morning she called me, gushing over some guy she met in a café, and how he was a Leo, and how she thinks she'd like to start a serious relationship with him because of her strong feelings and the fact that she's been looking for a Leo. Of course, she had sex with him immediately.
Never mind that she doesn't even really know the guy, or that she's been in this exact same scenario a HALF-DOZEN times this year, she just keeps setting herself up to be screwed over by barflies, and coming crying to me for advice when they do.
Today I told her not to bother calling me anymore. I told her that the time I spend giving her advice would be better spent teaching card tricks for a dog.
She didn't understand that concept at all!!!!
In this girl, I see the ultimate doom for the human race.
This planet is packed with people. six or seven fucking billion. And technological advances have made such progress that we've defeated natural selection. Because of this, stupid people have managed to thrive, instead of dying in the forest, being torn to shreds by packs of wild wolves like nature intended. A great SubGenius sage once said, "You know how intelligent the average person is? By definition HALF of them are even dumber than that!!!!".
Stupid people are eating our food, breathing our air and fouling our gene pool. We have to stop them and destroy them before they take over the world with their ignorance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can only hope that at some point in the future, we can resolve this problem in a way that would be beneficial to those of us who aren't plagued with the stupidity defect gene. I long for the day I can look out my car window and see that fateful billboard that reads,
"SOYLENT GREEN IS STUPID PEOPLE".
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