When someone asks you to go on a road trip and says they'll accomodate you with good bars and a comfortable tiled floor to pass out on, as a rule of thumb I never usually turn down the offer. So with that, we all decided to set aside a weekend to head across to the land of strange smelling people and crazy heathen lingo to drink large portions of alcohol and share tailoring stories with our friends that lived in the heathen country, known to the world as Spain. It was supposed to be a great time for celebration, the invasion had begun and the Portuguese were on the move again!!! Little did we know!!!
Ricardo, Joao, Pedro and I met at the town-fortification of Almeida on the border, to get snacks and shit prior to the drive to the foreign land. After a lengthy experience we took the road for about 10 hours or so. Upon arriving at "Spains best hotel", which I care to mention was none of the sort!!!, we were greeted by Carlos and Quim, who had been driving manically around the hotel car park with a cooler of beer. After the usual stretching excercises that come from too many hours in a car, we took to drinking as much beer as we could before we reached the hotel entrance. Now I would like to mention that many of you know me and my drinking problem and care to say that I drank four bottles of premium Becks beer and collapsed after four steps.... Hey it was strong stuff!!!! 3 am came and left as we ransaked the hotel room and finally got booted out of the hotel for too much noise and damages. Well whoopy shit, who cares!!! Not me my simple Spanish cousin!!! Right so by 4am we were on the streets, by 430am we were in a nightclub. At 5 I was asleep in an enormous plant pot in the main road hugging a tree. 6am I awoke in a police cell with all my mates, imitating monkeys from the scene of Planet of the Apes!!!
Well to make a long story short we all played a card game called "canine" for the next four hours. Joao got his revenge on us by totally dominating the game and I ended up owing him 40 euros my shoelaces and my 1998 Sporting Lisbon signed top. Shit!!! LOL!!!! Just remembered a scene that happened during the game.... Ricardo had drunk more beer and whiskey than all of us put together and at around 8am he started making some very strange noises. Realising he was about to puke in the middle of our game I picked him up and litterally threw him against the cell bars at the far end of our tiny prison. A colourful stream of vomit hurled itself from his body and created an amusing waterfall of foreign substance down the bars and onto the concrete floor.
10 am and we were booted out of our cell and told to never return to Madrid again.... MMMmmm see you next week I mumbled.... After drinking a little more to try and sleep through the journey back our 10 hour trip took us a further two days to get across the border. I reached home early Wednesday morning to be shouted at by my sister for making her worry!!! Nice, nice.... The thing was that I couldn't really explain what had happened as all I could remember was getting there and waking up in the prison.... Everything else was a blank......
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