This is one of the funniest rants I have heard so far....
Scumsucking pigdog RCOB weekend.
Okay, you fuckweasels, I've had ENOUGH!!! I PUT UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT ALL WEEKEND, and I'm DONE!
You- with the Camry- WHEN you backed your car out of the driveway YOU KNEW there was over a foot of snow on the ground. You drove as if the tires caused you actual pain when they slipped, you NEVER GOT THE VEHICLE OVER 8 MILES AN HOUR FOR SIX MILES. Do the math on that one, fuckhead. I HAD TO FOLLOW YOU for FORTY FIVE MINUTES. You STAYED in the MIDDLE OF TWO LANES so NOBODY COULD PULL AROUND YOU.
Here's a little clue for you, OK? when there is a CLEAR ROAD ahead of you, DEVOID OF CARS, and there is a SIX MILE LINE OF CARS BEHIND YOU, you are a FUCKHEAD. You CANNOT DRIVE. you should SLIT YOUR FUCKING THROAT and SAVE US THE TROUBLE.
Oh, and Mister Geo Metro? YOU CHOSE TO DRIVE ON A DAY WHEN THE AVERAGE SNOW DRIFT IS TALLER THAN YOUR CAR. Your pathetic three cylinder MoonbatMobile is NOT GONNA MAKE IT to the HEALTH FOOD STORE! Pull off the SIDE of the ROAD and SMOKE THAT HEMP JACKET you're wearing, and GET OUT OF EVERYONE"S WAY. Yes, you ARE going to get stuck JUST LIKE THAT every five minutes. You are NOT going to be able to negotiate the 12" tall drifts because your TIRES arent that tall. Yes, you've had to be PUSHED OUT OF EVERY SNOWFLAKE you have encountered, and THAT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE TILL SPRING. Stay HOME!!! You can PROBABLY survive intil spring on the ""KERRY EDWARDS" stickers if you peel them off every surface to which they are applied. FOAD!
Now, the amateurs: Yes, you know who the fuck you are. You have LIVED IN THIS CLIMATE FOR FIFTY FUCKING YEARS, YOU ASSHELMETS! You FORGET HOW TO DRIVE IN SNOW EVERY FUCKING WINTER. Take some Gingko Biloba and MOVE AWAY FROM ME, preferably at LEAST 900 miles.
Oh, and you. Mrs Lexus SUV. Let me clue you into something, OK? A Lexus is NOT an SUV. It's a large chrome and plastic ego. You didn't buy it because you needed an SUV, you bought it because you could. Bully for you! Before you take to the streets with that LeBehemoth, Learn to drive it. Four wheel drive does not mean immunity to the laws of physics. The REASON YOU ARE ON YOUR SIDE IN A DITCH is your OWN STUPIDITY. Pound sand. Next time put it over an embankment so you don't survive to fuckup anyone else's day.
All in all, it makes me wonder: WHY CAN'T I MOUNT AUTOMATIC WEAPONS ON MY TRUCK?
All credit to Og, the Neanderpundit for his rant!
