"July 18 2003: Tony Blair and George Bush will publish a joint statement today about the two Britons facing a military trial in Cuba for fighting in Iraq, causing speculation that Washington has agreed to a series of demands made by Downing Street."
We’ve been hearing a lot about the "Geneva Convention" and how it relates to those buttbags in Guantanomo bay. As some of you may be unfamiliar with this convention, I have gone through some painstaking "research" to make things easier for you to understand when someone talks about it. Are you ready to take notes?
* At the Geneva Convention, it cost $15 at the door to get an all-day pass that included a souvenir mug. Nice, nice...
* Not to be confused with the Bassmaster’s Convention of 1965, Geneva does allow you to fish using dynamite.
* The Geneva Convention pin is still a collector’s item in Geneva.
* Spain does not have to follow the rules of engagement because following the rules requires a country to actually fight. (Remember Iraq and the Madrid train bombing?)
* It does provide a clause for how to properly wave a white flag.
* The clause is only in Spanish. No other translation has been requested.
* If you stare at the cover of the rulebook, you can see the Spanish King on the toilet drinking a puppy smoothie.
* Don Kings hair breaks 15 rules of the convention.
* Chuck Norris breaks 85 of them - with a roundhouse kick.
* There are 58,359 rules listed from the convention, but no one except the United States has to follow them.
My friend told me a good story once...
When he was in the military he was put in a hypothetical situation. If an enemy ambushed and killed 15 of your men, ran out of ammunition, and just gave up, what would I do?
He replied that he would shoot them. The Lieutenant, being a little flustered, reminded him that it would be against the Geneva Convention if he did such a thing. He returned the favour by reminding him that he didn’t sign it and, therefore, did not care what the Swiss assholes come up with for rules of war.
Needless to say, he wasn’t in the military long after that.
