Once upon a time there was an Italian guy named Chris Columbus. Being a bit of a rogue, he eventually had to escape his homeland and ended up in Portugal. It was rumoured that there he acquired an ancient route, discovered by a Portuguese explorer to a new land. (But that´s another story) Anyway other rumours, while in Spain, he was having a mad affair with Queen Isabella, much to the chagrin of King Philip. Chris had a grand scheme on how to get oughta town fast.......
Pleading for Ships
"Izzie, honey, gimme a few ships; I'm gonna rock on to India, loot that land and bring back every exotic spice I can find and beside I'm a thinkin' Philip is royally cheesed off." (or words to that effect)
Izzie said,
"Cool, go for it." (well, maybe not in those exact words.)
So one day in 1492, Chris set sail with a few little ships, the Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, explorer, Atlantis and the Enterprise (Something to that effect, anyway!!!!). As time went on, it became clear that our intrepid explorer couldn't tell the difference between a Sex Pot and a Sextant. He eventually sank his flagship, the Santa Maria, but that's also another story. As a result he sailed west instead of east. He ended up a very lo-o-o-ong way from his original destination, India, of course being in the opposite direction. Sigh!!!! (Or did he????)
By the time young Chris arrived on the shores of what is know today as the Dominican Republic, (he called it Hispanola), his men were starving and diseased.
"India, India, Ave Maria, I'm in India !" gasped Senor Rocket Scientist as he staggered on shore.
As he pointed to the tall, elegant, copper-skinned People who were waiting to greet him, he wrongfully concluded,
"And, you are Indians, Ave Maria (again), you are Indians!! we've reached the promised land!." Er-r-r No Chris.
Note ever having seen a white man never mind one who spoke Italian, The People just smiled, and set about saving the lives of Chris and his men.
STOP WITH THE FOLLOWING MYTH ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many folks think, for some reason, that Chris and the lads made it to Canada and the United States. NO NO NO NO - Never did, he was lucky he found his way to Hispanola. He went there four times between 1491-1496 - never set foot on North American soil - GIVE THIS MYTH A REST!
What is sadly ironic is the fact that even though young Chris never made it to North America, the word 'Indian' managed to find its way from the bottom to the top of Turtle Island.
And............
The rest, as they say is history.....
