Portuguese TV.

Portuguese T.v. sucks. It´s all communist shit if you ask me! Like their French comrades, their outside broadcasts are in primitive 4:3 ratio. This makes watching the football quite annoying!!! And don´t even get me started on the ammount of adverts they have between programmes!!!! Jesus!! Last night I watched a film, which started at 11.oo pm and didn´t finish until 2 in the morning!!! Each break took about 15 to 20 minurtes!!!! 20 minutes of complete garbage that no one is ever interested in, 20 minutes of endless droning advertisements, 20 minutes that I had for a smoke break. And the government wants people to stop smoking!!!! Try cutting down on the adverts, because theirs nothing else to do but drain yourself on a cancer stick!!! When will people ever rebel??

Two men from Scotland.

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course", comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Scotland", replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Scotland too! Let's have another round to Scotland."
"Of Course", replies the second man.
Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Scotland are you from?" "Aberdeen", comes the reply.
"I can't believe it", says the first man. "I'm from Aberdeen too!
Let's have another drink to Aberdeen."
"Of course", replies the second man.
Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Andrews", replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Andrews and graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?", he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The MacGregor twins are drunk again."